Guitar Jokester Gifts

'Confessing your sins in a folk ballad was an interesting idea, Larry, but I'm afraid your singing has forced me to add one more sin to your list!'

'While my guitar gently creeks.'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Early music

Gang of Musicians

You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the Juke box right now as

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Serpent Instrument player

Priest reads sign above fire extinguisher that says: 'In case of quenchable fire, break glass'.

'Pluck me.'

The woodwind section

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Bass Camp