Biblical Humorists Gifts

"'Thou shalt not covet ______'? Aren't we getting a little specific, Lord?"

'Admit it, there's another woman, isn't there?'

"So, David. Do you have a permit for that weapon?"

Jesus was banned from all future fishing tournaments

"Now it's a golden calf! - I TOLD You that You should stop with the monkeys!"

Moses knew how to make a good first impression.

'But Adam, all I did was download a little applet.'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

I think it's time we started seeing other people.

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"For crying out loud, Adam, put this on before you catch a cold."

'Wander in the desert for forty years? -Is this some kind of FITNESS program?'

'There are only ten commandments, but wait until you see the tax code!'

Life preserver

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Fishing with God

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS