Biblical Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"You realize that if you eat that, you'll get marketing emails for the rest of your life."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Would a dash of hollandaise sauce be too much to ask?'

The First Memoir: 'Ok...it's a pretty good story Noah. But I think it needs to punched up a little to make it marketable.'

'How do I know it's mine?'

'The manna is okay, but why don't we get our choice of toppings?'

Bath time for Moses.

'Stop complaining there are ten. He wanted one-hundred!'

Adam and Eve Shown A Red Card in the Garden of Eden.

Moses after forty years in the desserts...

'I've been wandering in the desert for 40 years -- when do I get a desk job?'

Road rage in olden days

'At first Moses thought he would multiply fish.'

'What? Jesus turned water into wine for you? Why diddn't you asked for Champagne? It's more expensive.'

"Not now, I've a shocking toothache."

'Twelve More Disciples'

'Who was Noah's wife?'

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

Adam and Eve and Teddy

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

"Any qualifications other than being named Daniel?"

Bible Research Reveals...the ten commandments were given to Rachmuna, but Moses copied them, and took a shortcut down the mountain.

'Don't look now, but your Adam and Eve Show just had a spinoff.'

"Both of us! When did you start dual evictions?"

"So you once parted the Red Sea, what have you done lately?"

Oh ye of little faith

"I bet they're not so much commandments as best practice guidelines, am I right?"

"Are you really noah?"

Where all the trouble really started: The Tree of Room Temperature.

Hang on

I'm good with faces, but terrible with names.

'We needn't have hurried - he's boarding in alphabetical order....'

Lost ancient text.

Jesus 'raising' chickens as a kid