Bible Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Ark, Noah - not arc!'

Lot's wife or not, a salt lick is a salt lick.

"Follow me and I'll make you 'fishers of men'!"

Moses and the Three Wise Monkeys

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."

Eden's Cleaners

'Uh-oh!'

'Now, let me get this straight -- You got this blonde hair on your shoulder by wrestling an angel?'

'Son, two of each animal, but not two males.'

"I can't help it. It's all this water. I really gotta go!!!"

"Damn, the Russians have got to them."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"Well, we needed the rain."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Fishing with God

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS