Biblical Humor Lovers Gifts

Noah's first venture after the flood.

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'Judas Iscariot makes a another 30 pieces of silver'

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

'For a last minute cruise, the chow ain't half bad.'

Quick, follow that star

'There doesn't appear to be a Health Plan.'

"I'm not touching it if it's not organic!"

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"And on the seventh day, I took a selfie and posted it on my Facebook timeline."

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment

"Guess who brought king cake!"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"Well, we needed the rain."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Fishing with God

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."