Lover Of Biblical Humor Gifts

'Eve is a nice addition, except you inadvertently created a lot of sexual tension.'

"The first time is always a little awkward."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

Fishing with God

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank