Religious Jokers Gifts

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Lesbians for Christ

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"This is a beta test, right?"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Holy Guacamole.

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine