Religious Jokers Gifts

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Lesbians for Christ

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

Holy Guacamole.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

"This is a beta test, right?"

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

The Pope

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'