Religion Humorists Gifts

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

Hood ornament.

Horror Movies in Hell.

Holy Cow.

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Ten Commandments

Pope tarts.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

United Church of OMG

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

A woman in prayer

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."