Religious Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'I keep telling you my child, we don't need PVC windows, so get your fat ugly face out of here.'

"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

Next stop bloomingdales

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Watch with brother"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You call this a constitution?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'