Religious Humor Aficionado Gifts

"He's talking about himself in the third person, again!"

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

Easter Bunny crushed by Jesus' tomb stone.

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

Devil at Confession - "Sorry I took so long."

"What's this 11th commandment - thou shalt not tweet without thinking?"

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Is this going to be on the test?'

'The Endell St. baptist church choir's trip around the bay comes a cropper'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Jesus putting his cross on wheels.

'I'm from the Government - We have reports that this church discriminates against sinners!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

Dog Deacons

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Dogma

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

'Please take your receipt!'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'