Religious Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

Devil at Confession - "Sorry I took so long."

"What's this 11th commandment - thou shalt not tweet without thinking?"

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Is this going to be on the test?'

'The Endell St. baptist church choir's trip around the bay comes a cropper'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Jesus putting his cross on wheels.

'I'm from the Government - We have reports that this church discriminates against sinners!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Sermon Applause.

'Please take your receipt!'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"