Religious Humor Lover Gifts

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Pope Francis on public transport.

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

'It's true that the order has relaxed the dress code somewhat, Sister Catherine, but spandex is still a no-no.'

'I think you're looking for the Promise Keepers - they're upstairs.'

'Don't worry - it's an onion ring.'

Holy monk.

'I can't go out...An uneasy standoff has developed on my doorstep between Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses...'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Monk and bell-ringing cistern.

Do Not Accept Food From The Animals

"Normally I'm an Episcopalian, but I wouldn't miss this for the world. . ."

I brought my lawyer to go over the small print.

"Ignoring the PBS pledge drive is not considered a sin."

Monk sleeping with wig on wigstand.

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

Confession while distancing

"I'd like to fall in love, but without - you know - the icky part."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Do you have an atheist section?

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Pope succession battle.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"Adam and Eve, then Cain and Abel - So far, it's like a soap opera."

"T.G.I.F!"

Nativity - The sitcom

"Wait: there they are, behind your ear!"

"The dove must be back."

'Press 1 for lust, 2 for gluttony, 3 for greed, 4 for sloth, 5 for anger, 6 for envy and 7 for pride.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'No, I cannot turn water into wine...'