Religion Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'They're not SUPPOSED to turn you on!'

"When we said 'Lead us not into temptation,' we didn't mean it had to be a DESERT!"

"I think people who are non-denominational have commitment issues."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Finger puppets in church.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A woman in prayer

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Nativity - The sitcom

Pre-nuptual Nativity

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'