Religious Humor Fan Gifts

'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

'Thank you for choosing our automated service, for venial sin, press one...'

Businessmen presented with the Ten Commandments: 'We'll think about it.'

"The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. Nothing personal, it's just business."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'70% is pretty good, but not when it's the 10 commandments.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"A vow of poverty and sponsorship aren't necessarily exclusive."

'You're not confessing, you're bragging!'

'Could you dumb it down a little?'

'I'd like to buy you a pony, Harry, but I don't get to keep the offering.'

The man who gave up utensils for Lent.

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'For the hundredth time. Sup not from the chalice with a cold sore!'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

"Saturday night, Your Eminence. The nuns are ready for their bath."

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

"It's a Sunday school."

"I see here several good deeds that seem to have gone unpunished."

"Yikes! Somebody ask him if they take plastic."

'New Charismatic'

'Born again bees

Pastor Andy's pet peeves finally get the better of him.

"I don't care what the Sunday School Teacher says, I don't think there is a commandment about extra goldfish crackers."

A man running on top of water

Papal Pranks

Preacher performs a miracle.

Monk to monk: 'Can you take over? I have to tinkle.'

'Looks like manor form heaven.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

Two doors at the church, one labelled cry room the other snore room.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"Holy moly!"

"Are you sure it would be safe to let Jesus into my heart if he's never been vaccinated?"

Surprise Witness