Lover Of Religious Humor Gifts

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Dogma

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Sermon Applause.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Please take your receipt!'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

A woman in prayer

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."