Religious Humor Admirer Gifts

'Hey! †I thought we were going to make our own rules!'

Baby Bird

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

A woman in prayer

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Finger puppets in church.