Religion And Humor Lover Gifts

"First of all, it's your honor, not father. Second I do not grant you absolution! And I think $100.00 is more fitting than three 'Hail Mary's'!"

"He thinks Christianity is performance based."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

United Church of OMG

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Finger puppets in church.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

A woman in prayer

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"Holy moly!"

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'