Religion And Humor Lovers Gifts

Moses holds the two tablets on which the Ten Commandments are written; one of them is shaped like a foam finger used for sporting events

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

United Church of OMG

'Please take your receipt!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Three Parent Baby

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Vicar In Spectacles

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Are you sure the chicken soup was kosher? A guy inside said it's the last supper he'll be eating here."

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

'I used to think I couldn't serve both God and Mammon, and then I discovered multitasking!'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"The dove must be back."

I brought my lawyer to go over the small print.