
"First of all, it's your honor, not father. Second I do not grant you absolution! And I think $100.00 is more fitting than three 'Hail Mary's'!"
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"First of all, it's your honor, not father. Second I do not grant you absolution! And I think $100.00 is more fitting than three 'Hail Mary's'!"
"He thinks Christianity is performance based."
No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.
"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."
"You call this a constitution?"
Dogma
"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."
"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"
"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."
'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'
'Well, there go all MY plans....'
'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'
"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."
'Please take your receipt!'
"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."
United Church of OMG
"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."
Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle
'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'
The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.
"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"
"Dearly beloved, and others..."
'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'
'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'
A woman in prayer
Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.
Finger puppets in church.
"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."
"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."
Om and Ommer
Pope Kimba XXIII.
Nativity - The sitcom
'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'
'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'
"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."
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