Religious Humor Lovers Pillows

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

"Sister Theresa, who was St. Regis?"

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

The Church of the Wholly Cross

Moses parts the Red Sea.

'Lot was told to take his wife and daughter and flee from Sodom.'

"The Catholic Bible's a better deal. You get 7 more books for the same price."

"I'd like to talk about the existence of deviled eggs among the lay-ity."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"OMG, LOL!"

"You call this a constitution?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

'Please take your receipt!'

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.