Humorist In Religion Gifts

Speaking in tongues for the Deaf

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Pope tarts.

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Sermon Applause.

United Church of OMG

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

A woman in prayer

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."