Humor In Religious Settings Gifts

'When I took the vow, I didn't even know what chastity meant.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

United Church of OMG

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"This is a beta test, right?"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."