Church Jokesters Gifts

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Monk Prompt

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

How's my sermon. . .

Bishops Snooker

The ten ammendments

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Even More Disciples'

"...and in conclusion..."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Church restrooms

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

Finger puppets in church.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Excommunicate Me.

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'