Church Jokesters Pillows

'He won't be easy to catch. He's well rested - slept through the sermon.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Monk Prompt

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

How's my sermon. . .

The ten ammendments

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Excommunicate Me.

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'