Theological Jokesters Pillows

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Clown God

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"You think it's tough down there?"

Lesbians for Christ

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Excommunicate Me.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Robot porn.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Third eye