Theological Jokesters Pillows

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Clown God

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"You think it's tough down there?"

Lesbians for Christ

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

Excommunicate Me.

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

"You know darn well my maiden name wasn't Rex. Why do you ask?"

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

Robot porn.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"