Bible Jokester Pillows

"I tried the old, if you're without sin throw the first stone. Well, figures Jesus was in the crowd."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Clown God

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

The Older Testament: An Origin Story

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"It's got 128 KB of Ram, 64 KB or Rom, and a spell checker for when you invent writing."

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'