Theology Humorist Pillows

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

"I am an agent of Satan... however my duties are largely ceremonial."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Sermon Applause.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"This is a beta test, right?"

Holy Guacamole.

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

'I know it's all the rage with jazz musicians and pop singers, Twiddlecock - but choristers?'