Theology Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Oh, good - nothing prohibiting bingo!'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Moses' Tablet

"You call this a constitution?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

The ten ammendments

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A woman in prayer

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Excommunicate Me.

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Three Parent Baby

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

"First, do no ham."

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."