Theology Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Oh, good - nothing prohibiting bingo!'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Moses' Tablet

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

The ten ammendments

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

A woman in prayer

"And on the fourth day god finished the work that he had done and he rested. . ."

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Excommunicate Me.

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Three Parent Baby

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

"First, do no ham."

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

Flight Into Egypt.

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"