Theology Humorist Gifts

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

"I am an agent of Satan... however my duties are largely ceremonial."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Sermon Applause.

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Holy Guacamole.

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

The Pope

"This is a beta test, right?"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'