Comical Theologian Gifts

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Jesus Fish

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

'Heretic!'

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

Next stop bloomingdales

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'

'HE was right you know.'