Comical Theologian Pillows

"He's talking about himself in the third person, again!"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Jesus Fish

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

Bishops with headgear of increasing size.

Peter denies Jesus three times.

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

'Heretic!'

Monk applying plasters in the shape of a cross.

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

God fishing.

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

Next stop bloomingdales

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"