Humor-loving Theologian Gifts

Peter denies Jesus three times.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Jesus the comedian.

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Jesus Fish

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

'Heretic!'

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

God fishing.

Next stop bloomingdales

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

The devil relaxing at home

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'