Humor-loving Theologians Gifts

Next stop bloomingdales

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hot cross buns

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Jesus the comedian.

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Jesus Fish

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'Heretic!'

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'

'This whole Bible thing sounds like a conspiracy theory to me!'

'HE was right you know.'