Humor-loving Theologians Gifts

Next stop bloomingdales

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hot cross buns

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

Jesus the comedian.

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Jesus Fish

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Peter denies Jesus three times.

'Heretic!'

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

''Burnt offerings'? -- YUCK!'

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

God fishing.

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

'Are you sure about this? - These people have NO sense of humor.'

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

'HE was right you know.'