Playful Theologians Gifts

'This whole Bible thing sounds like a conspiracy theory to me!'

'They always call it 'Noah's flood,' like it was my fault or something!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Jesus the comedian.

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Jesus Fish

"Sometimes having to have the happy childhood my parents never had is just too much of a responsibility."

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

The devil relaxing at home

'Levitation my foot! - He's got a TRAMPOLINE over there!'

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

The Devil has the best Tunes. Jesus says: 'Oooh, cherry menthol flavour.'

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

Next stop bloomingdales