Quirky Theologians Gifts

"Swag."

'So God created the world in six days. Any sort of warranty on it?'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Priest with Christian symbol

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Jesus the comedian.

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

"What's the point of algebra?"

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Jesus Fish

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

Sex and Violence....Hell and Brimstone.

Exorcism and Other Jobs.

Fundamentalist sex ed: people come from ribs, as Adam and Eve.

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

Peter denies Jesus three times.

"NOW are you ready to renounce your sinful ways?"

Instant Baptisms

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."