Playful Theologian Gifts

Hot cross buns

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

God fishing.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

"Rest assured ... in a few thousand years, everything important will be on tablets."

"Seriously, don't make me smite you."

As a child, Young Moses could be a real jerk.

"Your soul may belong to Jesus, but your ass belongs to me."

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

The Meaning of Life

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.