Cheerful Theologian Gifts

The Joy of Procreational Sex

At the 2021 Religious Games

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hot cross buns

What Does God Know?

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

Nice Old Ladies Tend to Look at the Bright Side of Things: 'As kids my brother and I took turns beating each other up!' 'Well, I think it's wonderful when kids take turns!'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Jesus the comedian.

Jesus Fish

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'I've been wrestling with my conscience, Pastor, but now it wants to make it two out of three falls.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Peter denies Jesus three times.

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

'Heretic!'

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

God fishing.

Next stop bloomingdales

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less