Friendly Theologian Gifts

At the 2021 Religious Games

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

What Does God Know?

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

Jesus the comedian.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Jesus Fish

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Peter denies Jesus three times.

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

'Heretic!'

'How would you like to be on my new show: 'Smart Women, Smart Choices'?'

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

The devil relaxing at home

Next stop bloomingdales

Express Confessional: Six Sins or Less

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"