Light-hearted Theologian Gifts

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"erm...rethink..Adam and Eric doesn't seem to work..."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

At the 2021 Religious Games

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

'Can I help you?'

"You call it 'faith in God' when your faith is really in the humans who interpret what other humans wrote. Which was edited, revised, and translated by other humans. And was originally based on stories other humans orally passed from one generation of humans to the next, about events yet other humans claimed to have witnessed thousands of years ago."

Jesus the comedian.

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Jesus Fish

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the only alternative..."

"Jesus was a champion of the poor. If he came back today, you would not be able to hear him over the sound of religious conservatives booing his liberal agenda."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obediance School instead...'