Lighthearted Theologian Gifts

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Flood it and we'll do a retake.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Jesus the comedian.

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

Jesus Fish

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'