Lighthearted Theologian T-Shirts

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

'Flood it and we'll do a retake.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'I had multiple personalities.'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

Jesus the comedian.

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Jesus Fish

Adan and Eve.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'