Theologian With A Sense Of Humor T-Shirts

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"Pastor Hellfire is recovering well, since he passed his brimstone."

Jesus the comedian.

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

Garden of Eden: Director's Cut

Jesus Fish

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Peter denies Jesus three times.

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

'Heretic!'

'And on the 8th day God held a sale'

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

The devil relaxing at home

God fishing.