Playful Theologians Pillows

'This whole Bible thing sounds like a conspiracy theory to me!'

'They always call it 'Noah's flood,' like it was my fault or something!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"It's an apple pie, try it..."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Jesus the comedian.

Jesus Fish

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Peter denies Jesus three times.

"Sometimes having to have the happy childhood my parents never had is just too much of a responsibility."

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"If push comes to shove, I bet you could do some damage with the plowshare."

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

The devil relaxing at home

'Levitation my foot! - He's got a TRAMPOLINE over there!'

Next stop bloomingdales

God fishing.

The Devil has the best Tunes. Jesus says: 'Oooh, cherry menthol flavour.'