Comedy Theologian Gifts

'HE was right you know.'

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

St. Elmo's fired.

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Sermon Applause.

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

The Pope

Holy Guacamole.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'