Church Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"They always pass me these collection plates at church, so I started collecting them."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Church restrooms

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Eucharist

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Excommunicate Me.

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

"Can we discuss this?"

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

"First, you have to get their attention."

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Ding and Dong.

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

"Please rise."

Priest to congregation, "I'm no different to you just because I wear a dog collar."