Church Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"They always pass me these collection plates at church, so I started collecting them."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Excommunicate Me.

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Eucharist

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

"Can we discuss this?"

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"First, you have to get their attention."

Ding and Dong.

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

'Would you like seating in snoring or non-snoring?'

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

"Please rise."

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Priest to congregation, "I'm no different to you just because I wear a dog collar."