Church Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

"About time I've been pageing you for ages."

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

Stained Glass WINDOWS

"The baby apologises for missing the Christening, he had an urgent appointment."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

How's my sermon. . .

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The ten ammendments

'Even More Disciples'

"...and in conclusion..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

Bishops Snooker

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Applause

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...