Church Humor Lovers Gifts

Ding and Dong.

Father Ignatius - A Mock Monk

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

How's my sermon. . .

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Bishops Snooker

'Even More Disciples'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"...and in conclusion..."

The ten ammendments

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Applause

Eucharist

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'