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Ding and Dong.

Father Ignatius - A Mock Monk

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

How's my sermon. . .

"...and in conclusion..."

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

The ten ammendments

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Church restrooms

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

Finger puppets in church.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Applause

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Eucharist

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'