Church Humor Appreciators Gifts

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

How's my sermon. . .

The Sleeping Congregation.

Bishops Snooker

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

The ten ammendments

'Even More Disciples'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"That's my boy!"

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Excommunicate Me.

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week