Church Humor Appreciator Gifts

"...He said he was going to make his sermons more entertaining but this is just crazy!"

Christ is Coming Back and Boy Is He Going to Be Expensive

'Straight paster or gay pastor section?'

'No, Father, I can't spice it up a bit!'

'Oh! It's Father O'Reilly his gone all Christian fundamental, Mrs Antrabuo missed church on Sunday visiting her nephew!'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

How's my sermon. . .

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

The ten ammendments

'Even More Disciples'

"...and in conclusion..."

Bishops Snooker

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"That's my boy!"

Church restrooms

Finger puppets in church.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Applause

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Eucharist

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...